Jazzy's oneshot paradise!
by jasmin flower
Summary: A collection of oneshots that I think should be amusing! Pairs chosen by review requests! Different pairs, different ratings, maybe lemons NO YAOI!
1. SakuKakaT

Hey all! While I am attempting another fic, I'm taking a small hiatus to write this, as I don't think it's coming together as well as I'd hoped. I need a break from my fic by writing another fic. Here goes!

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto or hold any copy rites or trademarks here. This is purely for my own amusement, and if you get some amusement in this, then I've done my hobby well.

The bright sun beamed through the clouds, the little ray that shown down seemed to blind her alone. Sakura groaned, covering her eyes from the sunshiny blast that made her mood even fouler. Why in the hell was she walking around like this in the bright sunny day? She didn't have a mission, she didn't have a purpose, she didn't even have a boyfriend. She thought she did yesterday, but a call in the wee hours of the morning, telling her that she was single with some girly giggling in the background set her straight on that. Sasuke, who had come back about six months ago, pleading to be joined again to the leaf, telling her that he'd wanted her to help him re-create the clan, was now in the jaws of someone else. For all she cared at that moment those jaws could bite down, turning the pig into a woman.

Kakashi had apparently been there, at whatever party that the slime ball had frequented, and called bright and early this morning, telling her that a good workout session could ease her anger. She didn't want to leave the comfort of her bed, her book and her ice cream, but beating the shit out of someone was really seeming like fun right now, especially since she was sure that they would be male.

She saw Sasuke on the way, Ten-ten draped over his shoulder, both looking like a total blast was happening around them, to which Sakura would have been happy to oblige, but with her already being over half an hour late she figured she only had twenty or so minutes to get there before Kakashi-sensei would meet her there. For once she was grateful to his lateness.

Sasuke saw her and stared wide eyed, almost fearful as she passed, her glare enough to make him stumble backwards, Ten-ten's grin almost enough to send her to jail. She kept on going, though, after all, they weren't enough to get her to stop. Maybe Kakashi's gay ass would introduce her to someone who wasn't a complete idiot. Maybe this time there would be pieces missing.

Sakura started laughing at the thought, a little more maniacally than she'd thought and sent Sasuke running, Ten-ten staring at her chicken. It was about fifteen minutes later that she'd reached her destination. As expected the famous Copy nin was nowhere to be seen. She leaned back against a nearby tree and sighed, just as he appeared. "Sakura." He regarded and she nodded back, her frown now etched back into her face. "I'm sorry that I called you gay." Kakashi stared for a moment, eventually shaking off the out of nowhere apology. "I've brought in a few people, this is going to be a four person spar. I'll leave it up to you though, whether you want a one on one, two on two, three on one, and if you want to be the one against all." Sakura nodded. "Whoever you got, I'll smash." Kakashi looked over at the two walking over and she sighed. "Kakashi, you told them?" He frowned at the glare, nodding. "Sakura, with your strength I thought that they should know they were tempting fate here." Sakura nodded, understanding.

"Sakura, I'm so sorry." Naruto stared at her, visibly troubled that the thought that his favorite kunoichi was distraught. She nodded her accord, turned back to Kakashi and raised an eyebrow. "So, is this going to be like the bell test again?" Kakashi cocked his head to the side, from his perch on the tree reminding her of a parrot. "Is that what you want?" She nodded and he nodded in reply. "All against you?" She nodded. "Until I win, you win or I feel better?" Kakashi and Naruto both smiled, nodding. Sai on the other hand, seemed to be re-thinking this. He looked at her, the malicious grin and almost frowned. "Uh, Kakashi-san, should there be a survival clause here? Like if one of us die we have to stop? At least long enough to get the injured person to the hospital?" Kakashi shook his head nearly violently. "If she starts up in the middle of Konoha there's a chance that no one will survive." Sai seemed to pale, which Sakura didn't think was possible. As pale as the paper he drew on. She huffed, pulling out a roll of tape to wrap her hands, as her legs had been taped before she left her apartment. Kakashi handed her the bells and looked around. "Does everyone know the rules?" Sai shook his head and Kakashi sighed, almost relieved. "We must get the bells from her, any means necessary." Sai nodded. "That's all?" Kakashi's one visible eye widened at this and Sakura grinned a very vicious grin. "That's all." She nearly whispered and Sai looked down involuntarily at his scroll bag. Kakashi raised her hand and sighed, as well as Naruto as he finally lowered it. "Begin!" Him and Naruto seemed to disappear, leaving Sai staring at her, confused. "Why did they leave?" Sakura reached up, dropping the bells into her bra and Sai nearly flinched at the thought of retrieving them. In her current state of mind she'd have to be dead first. He stepped back, shaking his head. It was a split second till he was gone as well. Sakura turned to the vast expanse of forest behind her and grinned, stepping away, looking around. "Come out, come out where ever you are!" She nearly giggled.

It was about ten minutes later that Sai found Kakashi and Naruto, whispering to avoid the kunoichi's attention. "Sai! You made it!" Naruto whispered loudly enough that it was nearly a talk, causing Kakashi to throw his hand over the boy's mouth. "Shh." He pointed as the illuminate pink hair passed by. "I'll find you all soon!" She giggled like she was on some super powered drug and Kakashi nearly paled at the tone.

After a few minutes Kakashi spoke again. "Why in the hell did I do this..." Sai looked at him, wide eyed. "Kakashi-san, you're a special rank jonin. Why are you scared of a chunin?" Kakashi turned to him and shook his head. "The only reason she's not the same rank as me is because she's seen under a stricter eye, one that won't let her promote till she's well into the same rank as me. Probably stronger than me now..." He peered out, wondering about the survival chances of an all out fight against the demented, heart broken, bone breaking girl.

Kakashi smiled tenderly for a moment, thinking of the first time that they'd played this game. She was a girl then, not so much anymore. It was at that second that his heart nearly jumped from his chest. "Found you!" He heard whispered into his ear. He jumped back, narrowly avoiding a crushing punch, sending shards of rock into the air. He avoided the first, but the second one landed a blow against the back of his head, rendering him unconscious. Within this half a second the boys both disappeared. She looked over the world famous Hatake Kakashi and laughed out loud, the sound sending chills down Naruto and Sai's spines alike. "Naruto, are we about to die?" Naruto nodded, covering Sai's mouth.

They watched as she busied herself, taking the POW to the three tree trunks that protruded from the earth, the one that Naruto had been tied to as a matter of fact, and tied Kakashi there after checking his head. She sat there for a few minutes till he regained consciousness. "Sakura?" He looked up at her, his eye widened and she frowned, looking over him. "Kakashi-sensei, why do you wear that mask?" She asked, her mind running at such a pace that she temporarily forgot the death march of the others. He looked at her, confused again before sighing. "You know about my father, the white fang of Konoha, right?" She nodded. "Let's just say I have his traits." She frowned at the answer. That didn't tell her anything, unless his father actually had... "Did he actually have fangs?" She asked, now surprised at the thoughts and Kakashi nodded, looking down at a patch of grass near his knee. Her eyes widened as she grinned at him. "You know, I could easily remove your mask to see." Kakashi nodded, shrugging. "Do it quick, alright?" She nodded, crawling over quickly on all fours. She ran her fingers against the side of his face, the anticipation, her heart pounding in her ears was deafening. She ran it up to his nose and caught the small smile before the pop was heard, Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Damn it!!" She screamed, jumping to her feet. "Kakashi! You bastard!" Naruto heard one word in his ear and obeyed. "Run!" He did as he was told, Sai beside him, Kakashi running the other way and she ran after.

Kakashi was surprised at her stamina, he was nearly out and she was keeping up with him, step to step. Her marksmanship was a total pain in his ass right now, as he had to keep dodging the earth crunching punches or trees that seemed to fly at him. He didn't think she wanted to see his face THIS badly! He stopped, holding out his hand and gasped for air, sweat dripping from his chin. "If I show you, will you let me live?" He knelt down, the air not going to him fast enough and Sakura paused, looking him over. She realized she actually could kill him right now, but that wouldn't be right. She knew that she couldn't kill Kakashi-sensei. She sat, sighing and nodded. He hesitated, reaching up and held his hand at his nose, wincing with what he was about to do. Sakura frowned at this. She shouldn't be putting him in such a position. She shouldn't be making him feel so insecure. She turned her head, closing her eyes. Kakashi looked at her, as she stood and walked away. He silently thanked whatever deity had saved him from this.

Sakura found Naruto pretty quickly, him and Sai whispering and huddled by one of the craters she'd made chasing Kakashi. Naruto was surprised, and screamed like a little girl as he saw her coming at them. She grabbed him and Sai by the upper arms and bent down, tossing them both to their backs with matching thuds. "Sakura!" Naruto tried to claw his way out, Sakura now sitting across both his and Sai's chests. "Shut up." She growled and Naruto froze, not another sound eliciting itself from his quivering lips. "I almost saw Kakashi-sensei's face." She frowned, but the statement caught Naruto's attention instantly. "Really?!" She nodded. "I couldn't bring myself to look. He was actually scared. I've never seen him like that." She got up, allowing Sai and Naruto to scoot away from her, and as Sai ran for the hills Naruto sat and listened. "He was scared?" Sakura nodded, looking down, feeling guilty for giving that look to her former teacher. "I've never seen him that shaken up. Even when Zabuza was about to kill him he didn't look this afraid." Naruto stared wide eyed. "Damn, Sakura! Did you pin him to the ground and threaten to kill him if he didn't show you?" Sakura shook her head. "He offered to show me in exchange for his... safety." She altered his working a little. Naruto caught the pause and knew what had happened. "Sakura, you're taking this little game way too seriously. I think you should call it till another day, one where you're not so over-hormonal." Sakura's eyes nearly pierced through his head. "Over-hormonal?! What do you mean by that?!" Naruto looked at her surprised before answering. "You're on your period." Sakura froze. "What?"

"Your scent changes once a month for about a week. I know when you're having... girl troubles." Sakura blushed, realizing he was right about this. He was right. Sasuke broke up with her just before she stopped her period. Her angered face changed to realization, then distorted itself to another round of hysterical, maniacal laughter. Naruto backed away unconsciously as Sakura's eyes fixed to his. "Naruto, you're right. I'm calling it for today." Naruto sighed, relieved that he'd survived this whole ordeal. "I'll go tell Kakashi, you go get Sai. Stumps, ten minutes, alright?" Naruto nodded and headed out. With how afraid Sai had been he knew it would be a while before he could catch up to him, if he ever stopped running.

Sakura found Kakashi not far from where she'd left him, just finally catching his breath. He looked up at her, his Sharingan eye now showing. She frowned at the eye, a little of her anger bleeding back into her. "Game's called. You're safe." Kakashi nearly fell back to the ground with relief, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "We're headed back to the tree stumps, alright?" She nearly whispered, still feeling guilty for putting him in such a situation earlier. "I'm sorry that I almost made you show me your face like that. I didn't mean to make you feel so..." He nodded, smiling at her. "It's just been a long time since anyone's seen my face while I was conscious. Even the medics put it back on when they think I may wake in a day or two." Sakura looked at him and sighed. "Is it true about your father?" Kakashi nodded, his gaze again passing her. It was obviously a tender subject for him so she decided to drop it. She was happy that she hadn't told Naruto about that conversation. While her mind told her to drop it, she couldn't completely. "Why did you tell me then?" Kakashi looked at her, his eye held a little surprise at her interest. "I've known you since you were a little girl. You may have not had the kind, open ear, but you know more about me than just about anyone else now." Sakura looked at him surprised. "Really?" He nodded as he finally started walking, still keeping his tone low enough that no one else could hear it. "I'm not very social, no matter what Gai seems to think. I don't have girlfriends as I don't want to get married and have left someone behind if a mission goes bad. Asuma knew me best, but..." Sakura sighed, remembering the nin. She smiled lightly at his memory, a handsome man that had died in the prime of his life. "Has it really been five years?" She shook her head and Kakashi nearly laughed. "Don't talk like that, you'll make me feel old."

They reached the stumps, and though Sakura hadn't beaten any of them to a pulp she noted that she felt remarkably better. "Kakashi, Thank you. I do feel a whole lot better." She smiled and he nodded, noticing the drop in the honorific. "Who's up for Ichiraku? I'm buying." Naruto nearly cried with joy at both surviving AND being treated to Ichiraku while Sai still gasped for air, raising his hand instead of a verbal answer. Kakashi looked up at the sun and shrugged. "I have all day, and it's still pretty early. Sakura grinned, throwing her arms over all of their shoulders. "I survived without Sasuke for years, I can do it again with all of my men." She nearly laughed and Kakashi was surprised to have been so much included.

They ate happily, Naruto finishing his third bowl before Sakura had finished her first. She laughed, even though she knew this was going to cost her a fortune. Sai set down his chopsticks as did Kakashi, but she couldn't bring herself to look over as he ate, as she'd tried to do years before.

After paying they went their separate ways, Sakura headed back to her home to try and sleep off this nagging feeling that she was supposed to be depressed about something...

She woke early the next morning, not remembering when she'd slept so great. She stretched and reached for the phone to call Sasuke, out of habit, but stopped as she tapped the first digit. Oh yeah, he was an ass. Never mind. She tapped the button, before typing in other buttons. "Tsunade-sensei, I need a really good mission." The voice on the other end seemed half dead. "Sakura? What- Why?" Sakura sighed, thinking over her answer before it came out. "Sasuke broke up with me. Kakashi, Sai and Naruto battled it out with me yesterday, and the exercise helped. I think a good mission is in order." Tsunade ruffled loudly through papers, causing a small grin to develop on her face. "I have one, and I have the boys on call. That work?" Sakura grinned fully now, nodding. "That's great! Thanks, Tsunade!"

"Come by in an hour for details, I'll get the boys." She hung up the phone before thinking. Since when was Kakashi a boy? She thought about it and sighed. Tsunade-sama was older than she looked. Sakura kept forgetting, she wasn't a thirty year old woman, she was more like seventy. The thought sent chills down her spine. She wanted to look like that when she was seventy. She'd have to learn that jutsu...

She dressed and ran for the door.

It was indeed an hour later that they met in the office. Tsunade looked up at them and handed the paper over to Kakashi. He looked down over the paper and sighed. "A scroll retrieval from a willing village? Isn't this kind of... lacking for this group?" Tsunade looked up at him and nodded. "I'm not sending an over-hormonal, heartbroken woman into a tense battle. If you found the need to hide, her scent would give you away." Sakura blushed, frowning. "Damn, do I need to change my brand of pads or something?" Sai looked at her, a little afraid, eyes wide at the uncharacteristic outburst, while Naruto shook his head. "It's not the brand, Sakura. It's the hormones. We can smell them through your skin." Tsunade looked at Naruto, shaking her head. "I can tell because she reminds me more of myself at this time of the month." Sakura froze. Did Tsunade just call her a bitch? Did she just call herself a bitch? She couldn't really disagree, not after yesterday. She sighed and nodded as Kakashi read over the paper. "When do we leave?"

They were bounding freely through the forest three hours later. Sakura felt so much of a rush on missions, even if they were the more lax ones like this. It was freeing to be out of the village. She laughed loudly as she passed the boys, spinning through the air. "Sakura!" Kakashi called, and she looked over her chest at him. "Don't spend too much chakra! It's a three day trip each way!" She nodded, but flew anyway. He nearly laughed as he sped ahead faster, catching the other boys by surprise. "Sakura, If you need carried to the village, I'll have Naruto do it. You'll have him all over you." Sakura laughed as she bounded through the trees around her. "I can't help it! It's so invigorating out here!" She laughed, causing a chuckle from the copy nin. "After a break up girls are usually sad. Just thought you should know." She looked over at him and grinned. "Do you want me to be depressed, Kakashi-sensei?" He shook his head before looking her dead in the eye. "I wouldn't want that from you. I just don't want you to deplete yourself to quickly." She nodded, and sighed, slowing down to a more relaxed pace. Naruto noticed the tone he used and his eyes widened. That was... Was he... hitting on her? Naruto would have normally been pissed, but there was something in their smiles that made him alter his vision on this subject. He wanted her to be happy more than anything, even if it wasn't with him. He had six days, and if he could manage, Sai's help.

They camped that night, two tents between them. Naruto sighed, as he checked his bag again. "I must have left mine in my room..." Sai just nodded, looking down at Naruto. "I forgot mine, and my pajamas." Naruto stopped, wide eyed and looked up at the blankly staring nin. Sakura pointed at one tent and shook her head. "You two sleep in that one. I'll burn it once we get back. You need to get more tents at the next village." She looked at Sai and cringed. "I'm not sleeping with you naked. Kakashi, you're with me." Kakashi normally would have resisted, as he usually didn't sleep on missions, but her tone had a certain air of finality that he was afraid to disobey. He laid down that night, a little paranoid, as he never slept alongside females, but found that after chasing her earlier he was too tired to move.

Naruto sighed as they got into the tents. "Thank god that you were joking." Sai put on his shorts and looked over, shrugging. "I knew that she wouldn't sleep next to me wearing my cloths or not wearing them, so it seemed like the best thing to say. So, what's the next plan?" Naruto shook his head. "Not till after the village. Let's see how this plays out."

It was the next morning that Sakura found herself wrapped in a familiar warmth before remembering that Sasuke had broken up with her. Her eyes shot open as she heard the voice whisper into her ear. "Icha icha, book eight..." She nearly laughed. He even dreamed about those books? She sat up and turned to him, jarring him from his friendly sleep. "Kakashi-sensei, you pervert!" She giggled, causing him to back away quickly. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..." He looked down at the pillow and she shook her head. "Better you than Naruto's snoring or Sai naked." Kakashi froze and nodded. "I agree."

They ate quickly after waking the boys, Sakura noted the shorts and they headed out. The next night Kakashi slept a little easier, knowing that Sakura wasn't going to kill him if he rolled over again.

Sure enough he woke before her to find that she was nuzzled to his chest. He looked down at her and sighed, feeling the warmth of her through his shirt was still rather nice. He realized what he was thinking and shook his head, waking her. That morning was a little less comfortable to the Copy nin, as Naruto had noticed. He had one more night before he had to find a way to get this to work. He had to think up a plan.

He was doomed and he knew it.

They rested that night and Naruto got Sai to help him come up with a new plan, as they weren't getting together on their own. Sai just shrugged. "We need to visit the hot spring when we get there, then leave the two of them alone." Naruto looked up. "What?"

"They only have one onsen. It's mixed bathing." Naruto nodded before realizing that would mean that he'd see Sakura naked as well. He bit his lip before nodding. Seeing each other naked should ease the discomfort at seeing each other clothed.

Sakura woke first the next morning, finding the bed beside her empty. She was surprised to find that she didn't like it. She wanted his warmth. She sat up, feeling alone, slightly empty and for the first time since the first day, a little depressed.

She made breakfast, noticing Kakashi perched in the tree above the tent, sleeping soundly against the tree. She wanted him to be next to her this morning. It was colder than it had been for the last few days. She shivered as she pulled the food from the fire and woke everyone.

Naruto noticed the look in her eye and cringed. She looked so... empty. He sighed and pulled her in for a hug. "Sakura, if you need to talk, know that you can talk to me." She nodded, but her eyes looked none the less empty. They ate in silence, Kakashi somehow knew that it was the lack of his presence this morning that prompted her fall to depression. "Before we head out, Sakura, can I talk to you?" She looked up at him, surprised and nodded, standing.

They headed out just a little, enough that the others couldn't hear before he sighed. "I didn't mean to abandon you last night. I don't think that it's... appropriate, the way we keep waking up. I don't want you to think that I don't care, with everything that's going on with you." She nodded, pulling the sweater she had a little tighter around herself. Kakashi noticed the move and sighed. "Is it really that important to you that I sleep beside you?" She shook her head, her face looking to the ground. "I was cold this morning." Kakashi frowned, realizing that the presence of someone else was what was keeping her so happy, or for this just not so... alone. He'd left her alone. "Sakura, I'm sorry." She nodded, turning back to the camp. She wasn't in the mood to talk. Naruto watched as she came back, throwing her pack over her shoulder and looked up, taking to the sky.

They followed her as they finally approached the village that evening. The man at the small village's main building handed the scroll over with relief. "Please, stay at the inn for the night and head back out tomorrow. It's not that I don't like having a few ninja around, but that scroll is cursed." Naruto grabbed it from Kakashi's hand, frowning. "I'm already cursed, so this won't make a difference to me." Kakashi stared for a moment, confused before turning back to the man. "We'll head out in the morning." Naruto piped up after, grinning. "I heard you have a nice onsen..."

Kakashi was surprised, after Naruto fussing that they all needed to go to the onsen, that he was suddenly so hungry that he couldn't even stay to relax. His loss. Sai turned to Kakashi and frowned. "I'm going to get us checked in at the inn. I'll be back." He turned, dressing and headed out as well. Kakashi thought about the last few days.

Naruto never forgot his tent, and Sai had lied about his pajamas. He looked towards the door and frowned. What was going on here? They both lied about heading out. They ran like scared rats. They were up to something. Maybe while he was in the onsen he could think about it...

He stepped out of the door, knowing that they were the only ones there by the total lack of filled baskets. He was surprised to find someone else there, though he couldn't tell who at first because of the steam, but as he entered the water he knew. He had a feeling and he was right. "Hey, Sakura." He said, leaning back against the wall, looking the other way. "Funny how Naruto didn't mention that this was a mixed bathing onsen." Sakura stared at him, surprised. "Oh!" She gasped, looking away after coming to her senses. "Yeah, remind me to thank him later. Where are the boys?" Kakashi's voice caught in his throat, his eyes suddenly widened and Sakura looked up, seeing the look of surprise above his covered mouth. "What?"

"Realization. Sakura, what do you think of me?" She stopped, confused. "Uh, you're a great sensei, a great ninja, what did I miss?" Kakashi looked down at her and just stared, the shock never leaving his face. "Is that all?" he reached up, grabbing her shoulders and she blushed at the contact. That told him all he needed to know. "Sakura, this isn't right." She was still confused to the whole thing and looked around. "What, as opposed to left? Have you all lost your minds?!" Kakashi was surprised to discover that she didn't know what was going on either. "Sakura, the boys are trying to set us up." Sakura looked around quickly, her eyes narrowing. "Set us up for what?"

"No, Sakura, Set us up. Together." Her face froze, the same look of shock crossed her face that had crossed his earlier. "Kakashi-sensei, are you serious?"

"They lost their tents, Sai forgot his pajamas, but found them later that night, Naruto had a chance to see you in the onsen but gave it up. Why?" Sakura looked at him, though her face was confused she knew why. "So we could have some privacy. Kakashi, I swear, I would have been cold this morning if anyone else had left the tent. It wasn't you." She was surprised to find that she didn't believe her own words. She was more surprised to see he wasn't too happy about her words either. Sakura sighed, shaking her head. "We have three options. We can make the boys fail at their task, we can kill them tonight while they sleep or we can..." She looked down, fidgeting with her fingers beneath the water. Kakashi shook his head, his eyes widening more than they already were. "Sakura! It's not like that! We can't!" Sakura looked over and grinned. "Pervert. I was thinking of maybe a date or something." Kakashi froze then laughed at her words. "Of course!" He sounded guilty and Sakura laughed.

They decided to go for that night. They actually had a lot of fun, a few drinks at the bar, the near dancing that they did as they left, then the dinner at the restaurant. It was a lot of fun.

They headed back to the inn to find that it only had two rooms, and guess who had claimed the first? Kakashi laid down, sighing as Sakura crawled in beside him, giggling from the buzz from the drinks. By now she was more than happy with the thought of the two of them together. "So, Kakashi, what about a good night kiss?" She grinned, seeing the smile that played under the mask. He sighed before reaching up, pulling the mask from himself. Sakura looked at his face, in shock that it was there! She could see it! Without the mask she was... surprised. He was cute. Cuter than she thought he could look. "Wow! I was expecting you to look... older." Kakashi laughed at the remark. "Feel grateful. No one except Tsunade gets to see me like this." She nodded, pressing her thumb against the sharp edge of one of his elongated eye teeth. The teeth reminded her of Kiba, they weren't like vampire teeth, just about twice the length of hers, just enough to keep them over his lip when closed.

She shrugged at the teeth before closing her eyes and leaning forwards, claiming her good night kiss. Kakashi was utterly wrapped in the feeling. No one had kissed him since he could remember, he didn't think anyone had kissed him with his mask down. Her warmth, the smell of her was entrancing and he grinned as she laid her head on his chest. "Kakashi, I had a bad week, but the time I've spent with you seems to go by so happily. Maybe this isn't such a bad idea." Kakashi smiled down at her, hugging her close. "I think you may be right."

She woke early the next morning, looking up at Kakashi's face and smiled. It hadn't been a dream as she'd feared. His mask hung freely around his neck and she could see him. She reached up, brushing his hair away from the Sharingan eye and smiled as his eye opened. "You look so relaxed. I wish I could look like that." Kakashi smiled at her, kissing her lightly before sitting up. "How do I look so relaxed?" He grinned and Sakura smiled at him, the gleam in his eye told him exactly what she was after. It dawned on him that it had been four days now, she must be over her girl problems. She threw her leg over his and ran her hand slowly up the sweatshirt he wore. "Kakashi, I need to relax, and I think you know how to help me with that." Kakashi was surprised by her forwardness. "Sakura, do you think this is-"

It was four days later when they reached Konoha. Sakura was grinning like an idiot, Kakashi beside her, nearly unable to stop blushing. It was a miracle how quickly they'd gotten here, considering they didn't seem to have slept the whole way back. They finally found out this morning that Naruto was drugging them both with powerful aphrodisiacs, not realizing that the work was already done. "So, Kakashi, What do you think we should do tonight?" She grinned seductively and he grinned back at her through the dark cloth. "Let's see how many times we can christen every room in my apartment." Sakura laughed, grabbing his hand and running with him in tow.

She noticed Sasuke watching her alone, Ten-ten draped over the shoulder of Neji, who seemed to be trying to shake her off. She kept on going, laughing and turned to Kakashi, kissing him before uttering one sentence in his ear. "I think we can manage a very loud four."

Sasuke watched as she pulled Kakashi into a kiss and his jaw about dropped. What in the hell?! He wanted to tell her he was sorry, that it had all been a big mistake, but it looked like unlike last time he'd left her, this time she got on with her life. He frowned, his eyes watching them like a hawk. Guess this time he'd have to get on with his life without her instead of the other way. He stood and walked away.

Kakashi grinned as they reached her apartment, nearly tearing off each other's cloths as they got through the door. He looked over at her clock and frowned. She noticed the look and turned. "What?"

"You said four. If I take my time and do this right, I bet I can have you screaming and satiated in that many hours." Sakura grinned. Four hours... That sounded really good right about now...

The end.

Sorry all! I just wanted to write this. No lemons, but I had a bit of fun writing it. Review and tell me what you think! I love reviews!

Is there a certain couple you want to see in a fic? Leave it in a review and whoever gets the most reviews will be the couple in my next oneshot! I'm going to make a few of these, they're actually really fun! They'll be here, in this 'story'!

Later all!

jasminflower69


	2. SakuSasoM

Hey all! Till I start on my new fic, I'm going to be making a few one shots. Just for amusement, mind you, but some that I want to do none the less.

Today's fic is definitely going to earn it's M rating! We have rape, a little angst, and most of all, violence!

Disclaimer- yeah, he does that.

Sakura opened her eyes, seeing the battle play out before her. It seemed so surreal, like it was all just a dream. The flurry of movement was barely enough to catch her eye as she looked over, seeing the pool of blood and looked for who to heal before she realized that it was her own blood. She tried to sit, the gash in her side making her wince as she placed her hand over it, trying to seal the wound that so badly wanted to end the rest of her. "Chiyo-baasama..." She tried to locate the older woman to no avail. She was nearly done with the basic healing, the chance of bleeding to death only came now if she tried to move too fast.

"She's not here anymore. She's abandoned you, kunoichi." Sakura looked around, wide eyed to find the voice coming from the billowing cloak in the corner. She tried again to see the woman, but her eyes traced their way back to him, as he slowly walked forwards. She knew with this wound that she not only couldn't fight him, but that she couldn't escape either. She looked down at her kunai, deciding that taking her own life quickly would be much better than the long, drawn out fate that he'd no doubt savor every second of. With lightning reflexes she grabbed at it, bringing it to her throat, but her hands stopped just before. She looked up, just seeing his eyes between his rampant red hair and raven cover. She looked down slightly, seeing his hand out and knew. She dropped the kunai, feeling tears welling as she shook her head. "no..."

"It's been a while since I was able to have any fun, especially since you happen to be an interesting girl. Not many could have lived this long. Maybe after, you'll wish to stay by me." Sakura felt the burn down her cheeks from the tears that released, dripping to her chest. "Please, just kill me quickly."

"I have no intention to kill you, but if you do, then at least you won't have to wait for very long. She watched as he slowly crossed the room to her, unclasping at his neck and dropped the silk to the floor. She looked at him, the lustful grin on his face only added to her terror as she tried to back away, her hands not able to carry her very far and soon he was on her, his tongue thrusting to hers. She tried to turn her head, to get away from this, but he was much stronger, his fingers digging into her cheeks. She screamed, praying that Naruto or Kakashi could hear her. Maybe Neji and Gai were close enough...

"You know that we're too far from them. Diedera has taken your saviors far away, and the others that came with you should be dying as we speak." He ran the hand that wasn't holding her face to his down her chest, ripping open the shirt, exposing the chest that the last two years had granted. It was the first time that they'd been seen outside of the bathhouse and she screamed again, grabbing onto his hand with one of hers, covering her chest with her other. He flicked one of his fingers and Sakura felt her hands raise. He grasped above the first with his other hand, pulling with little effort as she rose to her feet, dragged from the ground, arms trapped above her head. He encircled her, looking over her from every angle. She clenched her eyes, doing everything in her power to avoid the lecherous glares that he gave her. "You dickless coward!!" She heard her voice screech in the echoes and he shrugged. "Actually..." He reached down, lowering the front of his pants and Sakura looked to her hands, tugging with all her strength, trying everything in her power to escape as he stepped forward, slashing her skirt off with a kunai, then following suit with her shorts. She pulled her legs up, trying to cover herself as he flicked his fingers again, then another, and another. She opened her eyes slowly, seeing as he ran his threads to her feet, then to rocks from the collapse on either side of the room, then to him. He pulled once and she felt her legs fall. She was still so weak from the attack. She fought, at least trying to keep her knees together, but another tug made sure that it wasn't a possibility. "I hate to draw things out, so I'll get right to it..."

Sakura fought with all of her strength. She'd rather die of loss of blood than to have this wooden fake touch her. She looked down to find that the wound was much more healed than she had thought. "NO!!" She pulled with every appendage to the maximum of her strength as he reached out, clasping his hands and pulled them into him, causing her to pull out to each of the strands. He stepped up, directly in front of her and grinned as he ran his tongue over her neck, causing a shudder in her that nearly made her throw up. Would serve him right, she thought before feeling his hand raise beneath her knee. He lifted the limb easily, seemingly only leaning forwards to rub himself against her most tender and private of places. She shook her head, bashing him in the forehead with her headband and stared at him as he just smiled, completely unphased by the action. His hips moved just slightly, but enough to grant him access to her and she screamed, every cell of her being wishing to have died when the attack had happened in the first place. "Naruto..." She cried, the sobs racking her body as he pushed again, taking her over completely.

She just kept her eyes closed, unable to do anything else to end the violent encounter. He finally reached his end, pushing as far into her as he could and she cried out, the reverberation causing a few pebbles to fall on the other end of the abyss before her.

He pulled out and away, Sakura just kept her eyes clenched, wishing that she'd been born with more abilities, more strength, anything that could have helped her avoid this deranged nightmare...

Nightmare...

Sakura looked up at the puppet before her, shaking her head. No, it couldn't be this easy...

Sakura opened her eyes, Chiyo yelling at her to dodge, and she did just as the puppets slashed their way past her. She looked up at him, real or not, and shivers went down her spine. He grinned, flicking off his coat as he walked casually across the defunct cavern to her. The images flooded back to her mind, the touches, the pain he sent through her, the humiliation and shame and she backed away, tears again streaming down her face.

She wasn't expecting to hear the crunch, the gleeful look turned slowly to confusion as he looked down, twin blades erupted through his chest. Sakura looked, seeing the whole picture as he stood, his mother and father on either side of him, blood pouring from the wooden body.

It was over. He was dead, and nothing had really happened. She looked up as he smiled, oddly relieved by the release of life. He uttered his final words, about his spy in Orochimaru's depths and took one last look over her.

She watched as he crashed to the floor. She was even robbed of her vengeance, though since nothing had really happened, she had no reason for it.

She looked over at Chiyo and the old woman knew. "Genjutsu. It's not fun, but remember, no matter what you saw, it's not real, and it's all over." Sakura nodded as she turned, running back to the sunlight without a glance back.

Hey! Hope you liked! Please R&R!

jasminflower69


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